"Sometimes in life things have to go very wrong before they can then be right. But, sometimes you have to go through your worse, to arrive at your best."
I still recall the terror in my nerves and senses when I remind her saying,
“apni bahan se v aise hi baat karte ho kya!”
14th Feb, 2014, I left Delhi for Mumbai.
To me, everything was out of the blue in Mumbai from my quarter to my first live show. I enjoyed well. Rainy season, cooperative colleagues, local experience and everything were special and like a gift for me for what I did in last three years in Delhi during my dire days of struggle.
Everything was fantastic until I gave one book to my female colleague as she wants to read it. I am fond of books and novels and often exchange with others, too.
In the meantime, as my next phase has started after golden eight months of joy, I committed a serious mistake when I poked a female colleague. She was bosom friend of that staff whom I gave my book to read. Things went beyond my control and I had to receive bad words and her anger for my mistake. I was sorry but now things have nothing to do with my “sorry”!
I was thrown in hot water and I had to rescue myself silently so I decided to keep mum and avoid off-time chit-chat with anyone in office.
But, things had totally turned against me. One of my seniors returned one book of mine in the presence of all colleagues and said, “maine padh li ye book.” I stunned because this small incident has directly provoked her (female colleague) who had not returned my book as of now.
“Yogesh, maine tumhe wo kitab lauta di thi n”, she spoke to me when my senior left the room.
“Nahi”, I replied.
“pata nahi kidhar rakha hoga mujhe rupye hi dene honge ab”, she whispered.
I kept mum and didn’t reply to her whisper.
“Yogesh plz check at your home that I hv given u yo book o nt. As I remember that I hv given u back yo book please check n let me knw”,
I received this whatsapp message at 10:17 PM same day. I decided not to reply as it could kick off a new episode of “diya hai-nahi diya hai-diya hai-nahi diya hai”.
The next morning, however, she appeared at the editorial meeting looking extremely disappointed, having obviously enjoyed confusion why I didn’t respond to her whatsapp. I, on the other hand, had not slept well due to mental pain due to my personal reason, and when morning came, I discovered pain, apathy and unwillingness to go to office in my brain. I was too weak that day.
“tumne mere whatsapp ka reply q nahi diya”, she broke out in presence of Director.
“qki main off time me personal message entertain nahi karta”, I had nothing to say except these bitter words.
Words worked well and added fuel to the fire.
“Apne ghar me aise hi baat karte ho…apni bahan se v aise hi baat karte ho”, she had started and her friend was nodding as sign of endorsement.
I couldn’t understand how to bring them under normal. I left no stone unturned to maintain things normal but I failed.
Anxiety of both of them about me was revealed only by the number of times they ignored me.
1st of December, 2014. My next phase started in Mumbai!